% fortune -ae paul murphy

"Wintel Causing Global Heating" -McNealy

I'm thinking of trying out for the National Inquirer - they pay more than zdnet, and their standards are way lower - I mean is that a win win or what?

The Kyoto lobbyists have this little problem - not only has the earth had more climatic hot and cold flashs than my mother, but Mars, Venus, and Pluto have all been warming quite dramatically over the last thirty years. Since this makes their case for exclusive human responibility for global warming almost as laughable as their use of statistics, they're in desperate need of help.

Scot McNealy is, of course, the chairman and CEO of Sun - surely one of the parties implicated in this - and not a man who willingly passes up an opportunity to help. Indeed, we just haven't been listening: he's been telling us for years that the combination of Intel's chips with Microsoft's software produces "space heaters" --exactly what the Kyoto folks need to explain how our actions today can heat both Pluto and tenth century Europe.

Of course the National Inquirer has standards requiring actual research so I interviewed exactly nobody for this article and asked exactly why environmentalists oppose global warming when they should favor it -because past warm periods have accompanied by explosions in species diversity and growth. As a result I can report that nobody said it's because they're all a bunch of closet Republicans or that this contradiction proves Microsoft's role because, of course, it's not in the nature of a monopoly to support diversity.

Well, I think that's good enough for me - anyone know the editor's email at the Inquirer?

Paul Murphy wrote and published The Unix Guide to Defenestration. Murphy is a 25-year veteran of the I.T. consulting industry, specializing in Unix and Unix-related management issues.